I am trying to supportive and make sure his credit card bills are paid, he doesn't default on his student loans, his utilities get shut off, end his lease, store his car- take care of his entire life so he can spend the next 10 months recovering...
...am I going to be a fool and keep taking care of his responsibilities that he can't for 10 months just to have him come out and want to make a 'new start' without me? I don't really see that happening, but maybe I am blind, right now I don't know what to do, and there is no end in sight.
I am so glad you are going to meetings and hope you will find some answers there. I'm not sure why you continue to pay all his bills when it is a financial hardship for you. These are his responsibility, yes? And just because he is in treatment doesn't mean that he can't take responsibility for them or for losing credit because of the mess he created.
He is the addict, he is the one in treatment and he is the one who should be handling his life situations.
I know you mean well, I did the same thing for my son many times...but it was a terrible mistake because it just made his life too easy and robbed him of lessons he needed to learn to grow up and take ownership of his own life.
Meetings will help, they helped me. And one day you will look at all this with more clarity and maybe see that one-way relationships mean that we are doing all the work while they reap all the benefits.
I'm glad you joined us, stick around, others will share with you also. And keep going to those meetings, they may save your life.
Hugs