Stay strong, jrt girl, and love your daughter today with all your strength. It is hard to break old habits, especially when you're only 19 and don't really know how the world works yet. You are spot-on with what you're telling her.
And, by the way, many alcoholics seem to love to say maudlin, self-centered, self-pitying things like your AH did, even if it hurts someone else (like your daughter) they don't seem to mind. That would make me plenty mad.