...and I am starting to breathe. Devil on the shoulder? Gone. Oh, he calls. He texts. He crys endlessly and has taken full responsibility for 7-1/2 years of verbal and emotional abuse. And he says he will do whatever it takes in himself to change and have me back.
He gave me his wedding ring and said - until he deserves to wear it...and I can be proud of him to be my husband, he won't. Not because he wants to be single or divorced. He just isn't worthy right now. (victim?)
What I cannot get over is...my anxiety of "what will he be upset about today?"...is gone. I miss the habit (my sickness), but not the behaviors that contributed to that sick knot in my stomach.
Today-is the 8th day...and I am making it moment by moment.
A few months ago someone (sorry-I could look, but I'm writing in the moment here!) said here-do you really want someone like this in your life? Such a simple question and here I am wondering
!!!
Today-I am thankful for the new day; not waking up with the overwhelming feeling of "wrongness with me"...I am thankful for my freedom and strength to have said in middle of his rage 8 days ago: Leave.