Hi Rebecca! Welcome to SR and I am glad you found us, during such a trying time. I am sorry for the loss of your father.
I lost my father, to suicide, in August 2004. His birthday is September 29th. He was almost 60 years old. He was a recovering alcoholic whom had not touched a drink in nearly 30 years. He had bi-polar and schizophrenia. His final straw was when he pancreas died (I think that is what happened) and he found he was diabetic. He constantly heard voices and had volatile mood swings. I still loved him very much. I was always Daddy's little girl.
It's painful. One feels like they can no longer function or go on, or perhaps they have died themselves.
I am glad you found SR and I hope they give you the information and comfort you seek. :ghug3