Hi GeeQ
Originally Posted by
GeeQ 
I acknowledge that there is a power greater than me out there, but I just can not bring myself to give myself wholeheartedly to God.
That's because you want to drink again. That's the "cunning, baffling, powerful" alcoholic mind trying to trick you into drinking. p58
It's doing really well. You have admitted you are powerless, you believe there is a power greater than you which can restore you to sanity so you could do Step 3 in an instant.
Instead, this "cunning, baffling, powerful" disease is keeping you at Step 2 and has been for 7 weeks. Now will-power is starting to wear off and your mind is going to dark places. .......picking up a drink is the next stage.
You only have two choices. It is either - or.
"To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face." P44
Two alternatives. One or the other.
There is NO third option. Right now you are looking for the third option but you have tried that a long time, haven't you and it never worked.
I hope you choose the second option, rather than the first.
take care.