I have family of origin issues too. I was never 'good enough' no matter what I did. My parents were self absorbed too and my father was an incredibly destructive influence in my life. Recognising where my feelings of self loathing and lack of self worth comes from has helped me start to rebuild myself <insert 10 million dollar man theme tune here>. I listened to them for so many years, though, that I doubt I will ever truly love myself, but I can be OK with myself. And that is a good place for me to be.
I have a much better relationship with my mum. We have both changed and grown. My dad...well, lets just say that, despite not living with an alcoholic any more, I still get to practice my detachment skills on occasion!!