my counselor had me write a letter many years ago stating my parent's demeaning, diminishment and etc and etc and state a boundary that I was going to see them unless this changed....so I went no contact for awhile...I have often had to be quick with my boundaries with them, but speaking up has gotten easy for me now....decades of practice.
The other issue, yeah, I have trouble with this one...I was reading old journals last night about how I am and what I do when I am single....and want to get myself back and I know he would appreciate that too!