Have you considered some kind of program? There is AA and secular alternatives to AA. There might be outpatient therapy available in your area. I use AA and meet a therapist once a week at an outpatient rehab center. I also have close contact with my sponsor in AA by phone at least twice a week, plus lots of positive contact with AA friends. I also use SR a lot!
I found it was liberating and empowering to recognise that I needed support and structure in my recovery. Please don't beat yourself up with your relapses. As my sponsor says: you are not a bad person, but you need to change your behavior. Go ahead and feel anger at your actions, but go easy on yourself....
Social situations, lastly, let me wrap up my little novellette, are a big challenge and it is a good idea to have a plan. My first year: I simply didn't go. But there are a myriad of ways you can meet the challenge. When I started going, I made sure I drove. I could easily decline drinks because I was driving. Sure a couple of times I lied and said I was taking meds. At an open bar situation, I got my own drinks that looked like alcohol, nobody was the wiser. People here have used all kinds of methods to navigate their way through the social bit.