Welcome ybn...
Al Anon and this forum are designed to help people like us who live or have lived with alcoholics. No one understands you better than us.
We are not a cult. We are a group of people with battle scars to prove what living with someone who drinks can do to you mentally, physically, and emotionally. That includes the children of alcoholics.
He is threatened by your new found knowledge. He liked you in the dark. This way he had a free pass to do what he pleased. Now he has to be more accountable to you because you finally recognize the illness you are dealing with. Too bad for him! You are entitled to a life that works for you as well as your daughter.
One of the wonderful things I learned here and at Al Anon is that:
I didn't cause it...
I can't control it...
I can't cure it...
When you embrace those 3 C's and realize that all you can control is yourself...life will begin to make more sense. When life starts to make sense...real change can happen.
Listen closely...your life is calling!
Take care of yourself and your daughter. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are walking a path that MANY people have walked before you. The best part is...we do get better.
(((HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER)))