Sorry I poked out after posting this last night. This is what I am talking about - I try to be social and then I withdraw.
Today is a better day. I saw my IC and feel better- gained insight and support what I am doing which is great. I can see that it is going to take more time than expected for me to recover from this.
I am learning as was noted in another thread that I come by the negative side of codependency from early on in life but ignored that piece for too long a time. It is now catching up with me and that is how I got here.
I am trying to pick up the good peices and lay down the negative ones.