thanks for checking in.
Also one of his co-workers whispered in my ear.. You should have done more, talked to him more.
At these times in my life, it's helped me very much to memorize a quick, to the point response, so I could deliver it when sucker punched.
For years, in my situation it was, "that's really disrespectful," but that won't work so well here.
Your therapist may be able to help you with it. Something like Naives brilliance above-
there is no saving an alcoholic who refuses to help themselves
Me, personally, I would send that in email form to his family and friends, draw a powerful boundary that says
FYI I do not accept your blaming me and I will not be speaking with you anymore. I hope you get some help. There is no saving an alcoholic who refuses to help themselves. Then delete any responses. Go no contact, like you have to do with the A.
I know you have a universe of other things to deal with, but setting boundaries with the sick folks is something that might save you future heartbreak.