Deb, I am sorry for your pain. I have no idea how you can protect yourself and your daughter from the stupidity of other people, but I think the counseling is a great start and to know (and tell her) that none of this is your fault! It sounds like people are lashing out at you because they maybe feel guilty. Of course, your husbands death is not their fault either. Be strong and lean on others (and each other) for strength and support. You are in my prayers.