FindingPeace1

AWWW, Tig! I heart Tigger!

You know, when my husband smelled like beer the other night, I thought about all the things I could say...asking him gently if he was drinking (ha!), telling him I KNEW he was drinking, not saying anything...
I kept bringing it back to me. How do I feel. What is my problem.

Eventually I said, "The other night, I thought I smelled beer after you had said you wouldn't drink and I was pissed. Whether you were drinking or not is irrelevant. What my reaction says to me is I have trust issues with you. I don't feel you communicate openly and I don't trust you tell me the truth.
I am in therapy to work on that, but I don't think I can resolve those two issues without your participation.
I don't want a response. I am just telling you where I am at."

It felt really good. Communication without expectation.

Whether my husband is an alcoholic or not, I can't know. How much he drinks, I can't know. How much he craves, I can't know.
I do know I want someone open and honest and I don't feel I have it.
I am working on what I want to do about that.
I have found great support here in my process.

So much of our posts seem to come back to codependency recovery, strength, self-esteem, boundary setting, self-care, self-awareness, etc.

Hugs
Wife