Hi and welcome.
I think the evaluation is the right way to go. You sound very depressed and of course for good reason. I went through a very similar situation almost 30 years ago (boy, I'm old
) No don't worry it doesn't take that long to get better.
My parents died when I was barely 20. I immediately had my first child and once my baby was born, fell into deep depression. It took a year to be diagnosed.
I was just like you described, couldn't get out of bed, didn't want to live, felt terribly guilty because I wasn't a good mum and the grief for my parents was overwhelming.
The only good thing was that I didn't drown myself in drink then (I made up for that later). Counselling really helped and things got better slowly. I think I felt cheated at the time, why me why my parents why so early etc. etc., but over the years I have come to believe that everything happens for a reason and we have to cope with the cards we are dealt. It makes us who we are.
The grief never went quite away, I don't think it ever will, but that is all part of it. I still cry occasionally and that's okay too.
I know it's tough right now to see everything clearly, but please remember that what your dad was to you, you are to your little boy.
Please work with your doctor, get some kind of recovery plan together, stay with SR for support and keep strong and look forward, not back. One day you will laugh about your dad without being drunk and while you are telling his grandson all about him - I promise.
:ghug3