Originally Posted by
silentjane44 
I love this person and want to spend the rest of my life with him.
...
The wonderful man I am with has never been abusive when he drinks. He just turns stupid which is something I cannot tolerate. .
Silentjane4...do you love this man for who he is *now*, wonderful qualities AND drinking/stupidity/daily broken promises? The person he is right now is the only person he is willing to be.
When dealing with alcoholics, it is important to stop saying "What if" and deal with "what is".
Originally Posted by
silentjane44 And am I attracting such people into my life since both of my parents were alcoholics? .
This is a very good question that you may want to explore either in Al-Anon or in counselling. I've recently come to the conclusion that I have *never* had an equitable, respectful relationship with a man, and it's making me take a HUGE step back to examine myself. Perhaps you should consider this as well.
Originally Posted by
silentjane44 I tried to explain to him that he is killing himself by drinking as he does, and he keeps saying " I KNOW AND I WILL STOP..I AM DONE" yet it never happens. There are those false promises again.
There is nothing you can say or do that will MAKE an alcoholic stop drinking. You are not that powerful. The only thing you can control is yourself.
What will *you* do if he does not stop drinking?