Originally Posted by
silentjane44 
Started Al anon meetings today in hopes there is help. I love this person and want to spend the rest of my life with him. How can I do this? And am I attracting such people into my life since both of my parents were alcoholics? ).
How can you spend the rest of your life with this person?
I'll be blunt: accept him for who he is, an alcoholic.
Are you willing to do the work to discover the answers within to your last question?
Recovery is a process and it takes time. It also requires that we accept our reality and stop living in magical thinking "if only......"
I'm a recovering alcoholic as well as a recovering codependent spouse of an alcoholic. I had to seek recovery for myself. I did not do it until I was ready. When I was ready, I had to embrace it with both hands.
There wasn't anything anyone could have said to make me get sober nor anything anyone could have said to keep me sober. There also isn't anything anyone can now say or do to me to make me drink. I choose to be sober. I choose to stay sober. Just as I chose to drink and blame others for my problems. Most every alcoholic suffers from "terminal uniqueness" ie., my problems are bigger than yours, my needs are greater than yours, etc. It's just more BS. (there are some great posts concerning terminal uniqueness on this forum)
Please do take the advice offered by Bernadette in your last post. Read the permanent (sticky) posts at the top of this forum. You are not alone in what you are going through.
I had to learn to put down the magnifying glass that kept me focused on the alcoholic in my life. It was hard because watching, judging and criticizing him was my hobby. It allowed me to remain a victim and martyr. Then the really hard process of picking up the mirror instead and looking at myself began. It is a journey that is giving me the freedom to be myself. To love myself. To respect myself.
We're here to support you on your recovery journey.