Thread: Siblings
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Old 01-13-2010, 02:46 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
GingerM
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Under the Rainbow
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"My sister/brother is doing X. That is who she/he is. She/he does that."
(acceptance of the person for who they are, not who you would like them to be)

"I am not entitled to the sister/brother I think I *should* have, I am only entitled to the one I have." (acceptance that there is no "other" brother/sister, only the one you've got)

The first line above was given to me by my therapist at my last session when I was dealing with trying to accept someone for who they were despite the fact that I wanted to throttle them for being so blind to the effects of their actions on those around them.

The second was given to me a few years back by a different therapist for how to deal with not getting into sniping sessions with someone I had difficulty dealing with, but was forced to spend a fair amount of time with on a near-daily basis.

They helped. Lather, rinse, repeat.

That being said, I have found the former to be more conducive to a longer lasting sense of internal peace than the latter. The second statement is good for acute situations, where I won't be dealing with the person again for a long period of time. The first statement seems to help me accept the person for who they are, not only in the moment, but also as future interactions occur.
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