I was an excellent mother, went to every soccer game, choir performance, and swim meet. I was an excellent wife, 3 course meal on the table every night, never cheated and did all the nice things he liked. I was an excellent daughter, married a nice guy, got my college degree and anything my mother asked I obliged.
And now I know, my mother had a drunk for a daughter, my husband had a drunk for a wife, and my daughter was raised in an alcoholic home. 28 years straight I drank, paused only for pregnancy.
We did the best we could with what we knew then. I know better now.
Arrogance was/is a big problem for me. I always think I know what is best. In recovery, here on SR and in the rooms of AA, I am constantly amazed at how little I really know, and overwhelmed by the power of the truth.
Go to people who have done this deal and be teachable. Listen to people who have years of sobriety, they have secrets to teach us. If you want it bad enough, there is an amazing life to be had in recovery. Welcome back