Welcome to SR tealvertigo
I've never had ritalin or adderal, but this is the cry of nearly every addict I've known - replace ritalin with alcohol or pot and you'd have me
I fear that if I were to go off of Ritaline, I would not be able to get as much done and I would succumb to depression again. I hate my inconsistencies, and I hate periods of having no motivation. Ritaline irons those things out.
..until it stops ironing things out...or until it brings in a whole raft of other problems in its wake...and still you can't stop.
You'll find other people here with similar problems, like Mark.
Come down and visit the substance abuse forum too
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Welcome to SR