support
Thanks so much for the support and welcoming me back
I need to sort myself out
No doubt about it
Still wrestling with the whole concept. The what ifs, whys, hows etc etc
having such a questioning personality is a bloody pain in the ass at times
Please bear with me. With you guys help I will hopefully get there.
I have probably led some people to think its all "success and hapiness" with me.
I have a good life and job now ( in my 40's)but have had to struggle to get that
I had a very difficult upbringing which led eventually to a **** relationship with my mother. I was fed up "parenting" her
I lived as a single parent on benefits ( welfare) and funded myself through university by working part time (still got the highest grade in 12 yrs for my degree!)
So over the years like many people I drank to deal with stuff in my childhood, a awful marriage break up , huge debt , loss etc
So I suppose what I am saying is the drinking became a habit over the years to cope with what was ( looking back) a very tough life
Now life is better BUT I am left with the habit I do not need
I am somone who doesn't do victim status , doesn't ask for help , doesn't winge and just gets on with it, More than that my professional life has been all about HELPING others , I am the helper not the one with needs!
I need to learn to stop the struggle against weakness and admit I need help