Hi Little One,
Smoke has given you an excellent link:
Intervention
If you visit that site, let the information digest and follow the suggestion, you and the significant people who have agreed to participate in the intervention process will be equipped.
Fortunately for your husband, you want to help. i understand how confusing all this can be. Furthermore, your husband does not seem willing to accept help from your or anyone else. In fact, it would not surprise me if he loudly denies that a problem exist, or even blames you or his father!
Many folks believe that there is nothing they can do except wait for the person to "hit bottom" and then try to pick up the pieces. I believe the exact opposite is true. Waiting is too dangerous. It is also cruel. It allows an already bad situation to get worse. If a friend wanted to jump off a bridge, would you let him or her do it before you reached out a hand to stop them? Of course not; and neither must you stand by and watch a chemically dependent person plumb the depths of suffering and despair before doing something about it. You don't have to bide your time until your family breaks up, or your husband is fired from his job, or kills someone in a car accident. You can reach out now... you have begun the process by coming here, and it sounds like you have the support of the significant people in his life already. You are well ahead of where many families I counsel are regarding this topic.
The important thing is to take action -- and soon. By definition, a chemically dependent person is out of touch with reality. Through the intervention process, you can play an important role in moving your husband back toward reality, recovery, and a richer, fuller, longer life.
Thousands of chemically dependent persons are alive and well today as proof that it works.
In closing, unless a chemically dependent person gets help, he or she will die prematurely. Chemical dependency is a disease that kills. It is also a disease from which people can and do recover. I am one of them.
God Bless you,
DenF.