I totally get this...
Until the last couple of weeks i have never vebally admitted i was an alcoholic... at first it was because i didnt want to just follow a trend in the meetings by saying it... and then after seaking with my sponsor i had to admit... it was because i didnt want to admit it... i was scared...
Until then also i couldnt speak in meetings... i hated going to them... wouldnt talk... would leave before i had to... i was told i needed to take a leap of faith... which i did and made myself speak in every meeting... i too have anxeties about speaking in front of people... in my university class... its taken me 19 months to speak... and that was onl 10 words... but i did it...
Faith and time... you have to give yourself both... and trust helps too....
Sorry i may be waffling now
Just wanted to say you are not alone