So he just left.
We both agreed that staying apart and him moving out was the best thing for both of us.
I will tell you what he said though...lots of "whammy's" in there:
He said: "I think that staying here is not a good place for me. I have to figure out why I keep relapsing, and I think something about being here (home) isn't working for Me."
"I think that you and I have come to a place where we're just friends, and I only love you that way."
"I have been patient with you and have asked you to get help for yourself over the years, but you just kept on doing things your way, on your own." (he said this)
"I think we're just going in different directions"
"I'm workin' on it. (maintaining that he's been 12 days sober...NOT)
"I think that over the years we have just become friends." "I did play a big part in that but I think it's just gotten to a point that we need to go our separate ways."
How did I do in all of this?
Lots of "okay"'s when I didn't agree with what he was saying...
Lots of "well if that is what you need to do to live a sober happy life, than i cannot fault you for that."
I did however cry Bu!!sh!t on a few occasions...
1. Neither I or this home is the cause of your relapse, you are the cause of your relapse and not working the program. Period. I asked him...to be clear..."Are you trying to tell me that Me and this house are slippery to you?"
**I don't drink or do any drugs BTW. and none are in our home unless he brought them here***
2. I do not feel you have exhibited the patience and understanding that i have shown you in the past when it comes to your recovery. I needed this time for me, and I feel you have shown me nothing but anger and resentment for it. But that's your way. And I can't change that.
3. I did ask him to not come here to get his things when I wasn't home.
4. I did tell him all of the pets are staying with me.
5. I'm not attached to anything in this house, so I'm not going to argue over who gets what. I want my pets, my clothes, my laptop, my TV, the kitchen stuff and the washer & dryer, and my bed.
I did tell him that I love him, and tried to maintain as much patience that I could.
Here I have a man who relapsed telling Me all the reasons our relationship isn't working for him. WTF?
But as Madea says...."If someone shows you who they are....believe them."
I guess I just have to believe all that crap he spewed and try to move on.
10 years. Just like that! gone.
I need a minute....this is hard stuff ladies and gentleman and my ego just got knocked around a little bit.