Just from the tone of the OP's message, it sounded as though he/her was nowhere near ready to stop. The goal of maintenance should be achieving a stable recovery, NOT simply tapering off suboxone. The fact that the OP tried it "their way" with methadone, should be an indication changes must be made. Many people (myself included) cling to the fallacy that support groups and/or counseling "aren't for me" and insist on going it alone. The lucky ones who live long enough, finally surrender.
In my case, I had to learn that, instead of focusing on what I perceived as "problems" with AA and counseling, that I had to accept that all those "problems" came from myself. Ultimately, we are our own worst enemies, and until I came to grips with the fact that, what *I* felt was best, was most likely the wrong thing, I was doomed to repeat the cycle.