Originally Posted by
Dee74 
I think it's been said before here Daphne - if you don't like AA, don't do it.
There are other ways to get sober, and every AA member here will admit that.
This thread should be about you, and what you can/might do - what you or anybody else thinks of AA is a diversion here IMO, and I don't think it's in your best interests to get bogged down in diversions.
I'm pleased you're considering counselling. Please do check out that link to recovery sites someone else posted too.
D
Thank you Dee
I will think about the counselling. Tried a few sessions when my marriage split up 5 years ago. Problem is I am "in the trade" so to speak , so I was anticipating and evaluating the counsellor! Bit like a car mechanic watching another mechanic fix his car!
I have had a LOT of trauma in my life and some serious issues in my past to deal with
When I drank at 14 it was to get drunk and blot out the pain around me. i remember hiding bottles under my bed, waking up in parks unconscious, not knowing how I got home At 14 !! and of course being young and attractive lots of high risks situations with men.
looking back I was only a child yet nobody even noticed I was drinking so much.
My alcohol use then settled for a while but returned in my early 20's when I had more trauma and then postnatal depression. Its been up and down since.
I could write a book on my past seriously I could
maybe the cushion of drink helps me not dwell on the past as I do not think about it.
My problem is I remember the "highs" and maybe gloss over/repress the lows . the good times not the bad - its a survival tactic i must have needed in my upbringing
When I was 20 i got heavily into drugs for about 6 months. I still remember the glorious high I had after taking a lot of amphetamines one night. I was so full of energy and euphoric. Everything in the world felt so bloody brilliant. I felt invinsible! It was amazing.
I have done lots in my life since and can't replicate that feeling, childbirth, abseiling, used to run /exercise for miles, sailed boats, climbed mountains. But nothing has replicated that feeling of euphoria, sad eh