Originally Posted by
lauraandersen4 
LOL Dee... Your post made me laugh but I really think some of these things aren't caused by alcohol. I have tried to stop for given period of time... but I've put limits on it anticipating that limit the entire time (a week...never longer) then I go back to daily drinking promptly patting myself on the back for being able to stay away for a week.
Tyler... when I first came here I downplayed not only the rate/amount of alcohol I drank, but also the impact but I figure now, not many people here know me. I haven't met anyone here in person so what would I gain from continuing playing games.
I'm very black and white and I think as long as I don't fit your stereotypical 'alcoholic' I'm not truly and alcoholic. People share their stories telling me that I don't have to 'live on the streets or lose a job etc as they have"... all that really says to me is back up the train girl! You aren't there yet! I could ride that 'yet' out forever because when I stop for a week, aside from anticipation of the end of the week and an inability to sleep (which I struggle with even without lack of alcohol) any discomfort from stopping is mild to mild-moderate and doesn't impact my life much. I'm only going on 30 and only have been drinking since 21 and only heavily and more daily for the past 3 years. I still ENJOY alcohol. I don't need it to sustain me physically. Many 'alcoholics' from my understanding start YOUNG. That isn't me either. How many 'alcoholics' do you know that started drinking in their early 20s after their neuro circuit was completely developed?
I didn't start drinking heavily until my late 20's, early 30's.
I took 'breaks' from alcohol for a month or 2 at a time to delude myself into thinking it was some sort of controlled situation.
I didn't live in a gutter, get a dui, lose my marriage, my job or my kids.
I enjoyed drinking until the last day that I did. Thinking that made a difference in whether or not I had a problem (I like it, I don't need it! HA!!!), kept me drunk for a long time too.
I am every bit an alcoholic as the next one.. and it would have eventually killed me, my job, my marriage.. and almost did, all in one day.
I hung on to anything that could tell me it was ok to keep drinking. Alcoholism is sneaky like that. I even tried to manipulate my therapist into telling me I could at some point drink again. Threw away recovery books after searching through them trying to find something about learning how to moderate, or how to drink again.
That kept me drunk for years and years.. and I missed out on a lot of life.
I feel bad for people as deep in denial as you, Laura. I hope you don't have a reality check that a lot of us did. I have no idea how long you can delude yourself into thinking you have a wonderful marriage when you spend so much time deceiving your husband, but that's your own opinion to form I guess. I had absolutely no idea how good it felt to be completely honest with the man I love, and how amazing it felt to live my entire life with that honesty, purity, and heartfelt intentions. The freedom is remarkable. I really do hope for you that you come out of this better for it and not having lost the things you're taking advantage of in your life. That might sound harsh, but it's just the reality that a lot of us have lived. I hope you don't.
If you want help, there's lots of folks here who have lots of experience in this stuff.
If you want to keep on drinking and 'enjoying' it, I'm sure there's lots of places to do that too.
Take care, Laura.