I found a new family in AA, Alanon,& ACOA. You are in the right place. Stay in today.You are ok in this moment. Parent yourself.....The Buddha said a resentment is like holding a hot coal in your hand ready to throw it at someone. It hurts you. Detach with love from your family.Last summer I did 90 meetings in 90 days and it didn't hurt me. Try Alanon and ACOA. The past is dead. The future is a mystery. Wake up and think of 5 things you can be grateful for. Let go or be dragged. Apply for that student loan and follow your dream. Tell fear to take a powder and to stop abusing you. SR will teach you how to live in the solution instead of the problem.We aren't alone. Glad you are here.