It is not wrong to see the good in others. What we're teaching each other here on SR is how to keep our own lives healthy and joyful in the process.
I will send a letter of condolence to my bro.
This is what I would do as well. I wouldn't be able to guess (or face) my family's personal reasons for not notifying me sooner, but this the kind of thing where I tend to do the right thing now, and figure out the deeper stuff later, when I'm feeling stronger.
Hang in there, Kassie.