She and I going an afternoon without out talking now it is stretching to entire days and then they are brief and only if I start them and occasionally she will just ignore me. I know logically what is the best thing for her but all these feelings are literally tearing me up inside. Remove all of it and I and what you have is she and I are best friends. We got together the other night and had a little talk about it and she was very logical about it and said. “For a long time you have been my everything and I relied on you for everything and I just shouldn’t and cant do that”
Rexus first I want to say welcome to SR.
Believe me when I say I know how you are feeling. Sad, sad, sad.
Although I think you have taken the first step and came out of some denial (admitting you're enabling), I think you are still dealing with withdrawls. She was a toxic relationship (poisionous), and as soon as you realize this, and let her go, you are going to have a hard time. I don't think this woman loved you, I think she used you, and she is admitting that to you. The relationship on her part was never built on love, it was built on you were her enabling connection. It will be quite the road to recovery for you, and hopefully a lesson learned.
Hope the best for her, but hope the best for yourself too. Let go, that's what she is asking you to do now. You can't make her want you. I know thats hard to bear, but it's the best thing.
As soon as you get better, I hope you find someone who doesn't have a past or present with drugs/alcohol. Someone that suits you better, someone who will love for who you are.