sunset2000

For the last five years I have been involved in a card group. There are a lot of us in this group and we all take turns hosting and having card games in our homes. I used to host a lot and because I didn't have to drive, I also drank a lot.

I can be very competitive, controlling and don't always take bad beats well. i guess sometimes I can be a spoiled sport and in the past the alcohol just made it worse.

Well last night I had a game at my place and one of the players, who I've known for a long time, was being a real A-hole, like he usually is, but we tolerate him mostly because his wife is a doll (he doesn't drink by the way). But last night he was being suck a d!ck that two of my really valued and well-liked players were going to leave the game because of him. It was a tough spot but I had to make the difficult decision to ask the A-hole to leave. He took it okay at the time, but was very hurt and embarrassed I'm sure. I have never had to do that in five years of hosting and I've never seen any other host do it either.

After he left the entire table thanked me saying I did the right thing at the right time and did so in a firm but kind manner. It seemed like a huge black cloud was lifted and all of a sudden we were laughing, telling jokes and having a great time, like it was meant to be. I have no doubt I did the right thing.

So this morning the A-hole sent me two scathing emails calling me all kinds of names, insulting me on just about every level and accusing me of being a nasty bitch, lacking solid judgement, in denial about my true emotions and said I would be sorry some day. But then he took it a step further.

He dredged up old situations where, under the influence, I had been less than lady-like myself. I guess I should have seen that coming because usually when you really hurt someone's feelings they want to hurt you back. And it did hurt. The event he was referring to was several months ago. It was a very stressful one, that I was hosting, and I had over reacted to a couple of situations while drinking quite a bit. However, I have never been booted from someone's else's game. And no one complained to me that night or anytime after.

Anyway, it just made me think about how our actions when drinking can follow us for a really long time and tarnish our reputations. Even though I'm not drinking now, he will always see me as the raving bitch from that one night and I guess he will never respect me because of it. So he didn't take his removal well, because he didn't respect the person it came from. Now he's going to go around and tell everyone in the group what a bitch I am. But I have every ounce of faith that I made a sober and sound judgement call (for once in my life) that came from pure strength and faith in myself and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

How do you stay strong once you start making good solid decisions, when your past mistakes keep getting thrown in your face?