Yay! Another wino in the northeastern part of the US - now I have some company. Not to make light of your situation, stopbinging, but I'm really new to actually putting some effort into sobriety (not drinking - I'm really good at that) and every message I've read over the past few months where someone fell off the wagon after a month or six or twelve leaves me in awe. I read these message about a month of sobriety or longer and I want to be just like all of you.
I'm sure it is really depressing that you're back to day one but I hope you (and everyone else who bothers to try, falls and gets back up) can take a tiny bit of comfort in knowing that you're actually an inspiration for me just starting down the road. Choose your own inspiration and feel secure in knowing that at least one other person has chosen you and everyone like you.