1. I have learned my husband is a lying, shut down alcoholic and I hid that fact from myself for many years.
2. I have learned I don't want kids with someone who has an active addiction, doesn't want to grow or change or communicate and can't stay honest and open.
3. I have learned I was living in fantasy thinking because I didn't want to see reality.
4. I have learned I am a codependent and have manipulated my AH to keep him "happy" and keep me feeling better (due to a reflected/dependent sense of well being)
5. I have learned I am deeply resistant to WHAT IS SO and try to change it/manipulate it/fix it and feel upset about it if it isn't the way I want.
6. I have learned I didn't cause it, and can't control it or change it.
7. I have learned how to slow down, let it be and refocus on myself.
8. I have learned I didn't have many boundaries and that defining myself is scary, but that I can do it and instead of bad things happening, I feel better!
9. I have learned alcoholism is the same story 1 million times over and that makes me feel better (its not personal)
10. I have learned I try to fix/change others to avoid the work I need to do on myself.
11. I have learned I can say, "I deserve to be respected, told the truth, etc." and that doesn't make me ungrateful or demanding.
12. I have learned I can love my AH and myself, even as I detach.
Thanks to you all!
Wife