Thank you for your quick responses. I have not heard of the support groups you mention but I will be looking into them. I hope we have some in our local town. I have thought about calling the counsellor we saw and getting some info from her as well.
I have worried about his mental state and him talking about how he just wants to die. I have felt the same way at times when I have come home and he is as high as a kite. I always thought I was the type of women who would never accept or tolerate a man abusing me physically. I guess I was wrong. I do worry that he could get so violent he would do some serious damage or kill me, i know it's possible and that is hard to admit.
What do I want to do?
I want to call his Mom and go to her and tell her everything. I know my husband has opened up to her on one or two occassions where he has told her he was doing drugs and had hit me. She told him she didn't raise him to do any of that.
I know she knows her son well, and she loves him like I do. I feel she might be able to help but I don't want to burden her with our problems.
I think I need to go somewhere else and have a seperation. I don't know where because I don't have any relatives nearby or friends. That I can stay with. I don't want to do it. But I need too.
We aren't happy. I hang onto the good moments but overall no one could be happy living like this.
My MIL is on a holiday right now and I am contemplating calling her and maybe going to see her or talking to her over the phone.
Is that a good idea?