I too am so glad the holidays are over. As I put away the Christmas ornaments, I realized that this year was just like last year, and the year before that, etc....I think a light bulb went on that the only person doing this to me IS ME. I keep putting myself back into the pain, instead of just staying out of the way and letting God take care of him. The feelings have been coming fast and furious, and sometimes the pain of letting go is so hard I want to climb out of my skin. I also realized that the pain of letting go is getting less than the pain of being with him, hoping and praying that this time will be different, that he will want recovery, and he will change. The AA program is for people who WANT it, not people that NEED it. Just sad today....again......