Wow....I don't have anything great to say....I can only empathize with what you must be feeling! We always do in our hearts what we think is right for our children, and yet it seems many times it comes back to us in a very strange way! I know that I would be devestated and angry as you are if my child wrote that - with the same objections you have to it - I think you handled it with her very well! My mother and father has a very dysfunctional relationship. She was codependent and my dad was not an alcoholic (maybe?) but I couldn't see it. I was close to my dad...and thought my mom was to blame. It took me years - probablly until I was almost 30 - to "get it". To understand what my mom did and put up with and how she did everything for me and my sisters. So, I guess here is my thought - someday, she will understand! Praying for you!