Yeah, that's one of the things that worries me - that once the immediate depression's been dealt with, he'll turn up all 'Ta-da! Better now!' without having actually dealt with the stuff he needs to deal with. And because I have absolutely no experience in the stuff he's dealing with and how people heal and recover from it, I'll believe him and we'll just end up going through this again.
I've already promised myself that no matter what he says, there is no way I would get back together with him unless he's in therapy. "I've done a lot of thinking" won't cut it. On the other hand, if he is honestly seeking the help he needs, and if that help gets him to a place where he feels like he's ready to try again - that might be a risk worth taking. I just don't know how to tell the difference between 'genuinely recovering' and 'in denial' (and I bet it's not as easy as a 20-question quiz!)
you can always decide that you really don't WANNA wait around for someone else to get their act together.
Oh, indeed! I've been very careful not to tell him "I'll be here waiting whenever you're ready!", because who knows - that might take too long, I might decide tomorrow that I don't want to give it a try... I don't know. One of the reasons I need some time and space here too is so I can do my own thinking on the subject and see how I feel after some time's passed - I don't want to rush into any decisions one way or the other.
But, wow, it's tough to see someone you love so much just start to collapse. Last time I saw him he looked like an absolute wreck, and hugged me so hard I had to kind of peel myself away. I know there's nothing I can do, and he does have friends around to keep an eye on him so I'm not worried about anything terrible happening, but, ouch.