Originally Posted by
SadButHopeful 
One of the problems is, I am miserable because of him, and that's not fair to them. I don't want them to have a miserable mom. I'm always depressed because of this. I'm so resentful of him just sitting around getting drunk (and high) while I work so hard.
IMHO, that is not one of the problems, that is THE problem. I am ACOA. My father was an alcoholic (and a compulsive gambler). His problems had very little effect on me. My mother's codependency, however, affected me profoundly.
If you are determined to stay, then please consider getting some help for yourself. Therapy, Alanon, or whatever will help you to not pass on the traits to your children that my mother passed on to me. If you really put the happiness of your children above all else, then help them by helping yourself.
L