Originally Posted by
LaTeeDa 
You accept him just as he is, right now. You let go of any expectation that he will change and become what you want him to be.
As far as I know, that's the only way.
Also, I don't really think any of us who left wanted to.
L
I was accepting it for a while, but last night I lost it. I'm sick of doing all the work. I don't want to be married to a child. I don't know if I can do this.
Originally Posted by
mentallyexh Just a thought.....I know you don't want to leave....but ask yourself do you really want to stay in this? People kept telling me over and over why are you staying....and it was the security of it, the scariness of being alone. I have 4 sons age 14,12,10,9 and a 13 month old daughter and a baby due in May...and I am scared. I know that I can do this though....I have a decent job, and a house, and a car, and everything I need. Sure it will be tight, but I know it is better for me emotionally, and better for my kids. I would NEVER forgive myself it they reenacted in the future what he is doing in the present, or if my daughter allowed someone to treat her the way I have been treated. I am not telling you what you should do...just stating that you can do whatever it is you set your mind to do...if you want to stay, you should....if you don't you shouldn't. Think about yourself, and what you need to have a meaningful fulfilling life....let that guide you! Believe me I know exactly where you are coming from......and I wish you peace.
Wow...I'm seriously in awe of you!
I sometimes feel that God is making it impossible for me to leave because He doesn't want me to. I don't know, well, I guess I do know that I'm not looking to Him enough in this. I'm getting tangled in my emotions.
I want to stay for a couple of reasons...I have never believed in divorce, and I don't want my kids to go through a divorce. If I can stay and make this a peaceful environment for them, then I want to do that. He is a loving, fun father, and they adore him. They miss him when he goes out (which is rare that he goes out at all).
If I did leave....I would have nothing. He refuses to leave the house. I have no money, he's gotten into debt, with my name. I don't know how I'd survive.
I suppose it's the kids, they are the main reason I'm still here. I'll sacrifice anything for their happiness. If it got to a point that he was making life difficult for them, then I would leave. Everything I do is for them. If I left, they would still have an alcoholic father. Then what if he gets visitation? I could never trust him. I couldn't even trust him when I was in the hospital after having my last baby, my mom had to take care of them.
One of the problems is, I am miserable because of him, and that's not fair to them. I don't want them to have a miserable mom. I'm always depressed because of this. I'm so resentful of him just sitting around getting drunk (and high) while I work so hard.
Lastly, although I grit my teeth saying it at this moment, I love him.
