Just a thought.....I know you don't want to leave....but ask yourself do you really want to stay in this? People kept telling me over and over why are you staying....and it was the security of it, the scariness of being alone. I have 4 sons age 14,12,10,9 and a 13 month old daughter and a baby due in May...and I am scared. I know that I can do this though....I have a decent job, and a house, and a car, and everything I need. Sure it will be tight, but I know it is better for me emotionally, and better for my kids. I would NEVER forgive myself it they reenacted in the future what he is doing in the present, or if my daughter allowed someone to treat her the way I have been treated. I am not telling you what you should do...just stating that you can do whatever it is you set your mind to do...if you want to stay, you should....if you don't you shouldn't. Think about yourself, and what you need to have a meaningful fulfilling life....let that guide you! Believe me I know exactly where you are coming from......and I wish you peace.