SBH, I'm so sorry you're going through all this, and with *3* kids to boot! I thought I had my hands full with a baby and a teenager!
I've been through those evenings with XAH; while he drank and played video games and yelled/screamed about how I wasn't doing x,y,z right, I cleaned up after him, his son, and my daughter and tried to keep the peace. I did all the parenting, homework supervision, etc, feeling resentful all the while, thinking "this is NOT what a marriage should be like", and eventually having maybe 15 minutes to myself after my baby went to sleep, after which XAH would staunter over and grope me, in the hopes that I would do my "wifely duty" and give him a b*** j**. Ugh (where's the smiley for puking?).
When my fantasies of being a single mother overtook my brain on a daily basis, when I finally realized that this wasn't what I wanted my entire life to be, I started to figure out how to leave.