Dragonheart,
Maybe my experience will help you. I suffer from migraines and was prescribed pain medication from my doctor to treat them. After several years of using them and finding myself enjoying them more and more I realized it was becoming a problem. I finally worked up the courage to talk with my doctor. His response only made my addiciton worse. He looked at my chart and said, you're okay dont worry. Next thing I knew I was ordering more of those pills off the internet. Needless to say my addiction was active for another couple of years.
I suspect you know you are an addict and its only a matter of time before the consequences of this disease surfaces and are undeniable to you. Sorry for being blunt.