Originally Posted by
yeahgr8 
I like anna's the addict voice will try and trick you bit...for me coming into recovery i had lost all ability to distinguish between the addict voice and gut feeling, i simply could not trust my own head one bit (i was lucky to see this from the start, most still don't whatever their consequences). Only by taking a really good look inside could i begin to see patterns emerging and start to understand and distinguish between the two. The addict in us is extremely patient and very tricky, what may seem like an irrelevant small decision to do something today may lead on to another then another etc until one day you are sitting thinking how the **** did i use/drink yesterday?! This would always happen to me when i would stop drinking for a period, change nothing inside, sure go to the gym, get a new job etc but in hindsight it was only a matter of time, this is why i shared in Dub's thread better to fall off the wagon after a week than a year and learn from it. As my friend says be vigilant always and he is right!
The only way, IMO, to get sober is to have a dramatic personality change, for me i needed to find out how to do it and thats why i went to AA:-)
I have been to a few meetings and I am going to another 2 this week - the more I hear the similarities, the more I realise I know the answer - for me, now, its about accepting that, surrendering to it...its hard to let go of control - something I have struggled with for most of my life outside of all of this.
I got up today and did the lawns - I loath doing that, I really do but I am doing things that i dont normally to try and change things up, see them from a sober point of view - I still dont like doing it but I realised its not as bad as I thought it was. Now, I do realise how simple this is - but its about what you are saying - Ive gotta change what is inside - for me, its about changing the way I think.
I am starting to see things from a different perspective and while that addict voice is still hounding me, I can also see the changes and I like those changes so am doing what I can to try and make sure I have everthing I need to not pick up that drink!