(((Jane))) - I spent a lot of time on the friends and family forums. Though your family may not be addicts (my dad is not, stepmom is, and 16-year-old niece just ACTS like one with her teenage-behavior), all of them had issues that I could still learn a lot from the forums (I hung around the substance abuse one).
I'm a codie (codependent) - I tend to want to make everything better. I had to learn how to set boundaries, step back and stay out of issues that had nothing to do with me, all the while protecting my recovery for dear life.
It has been pretty rough, at times, but from what I've learned here, and the changes I've made in MY actions, my family, as a whole, has made some pretty big changes. We still have our issues, but I can honestly say, things are a lot better than they used to be..it took a while though, and it took me staying in my room and physically detaching quite a bit. I am very grateful for the support i got here, as well as a few friends/family I have outside of my house.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy