Hi Holly,
Sounds to me like you have had a course in AA 01. Not *all* but.
I spent about 2 1/2 years in AA and what you have described, I had watched played out over and over again. She used the example of a 6 year old et al...I used to describe it as " kids in a candy store."
I get that you are grieving the man you thought/hoped he was, that's natural, but now you know. Count your blessings Hun and move on.
Alanonic summed it up perfectly.