Insanity!! Would a normal person respond like this???
THIS was an email I sent to my AH, seeing as how we can not seem to talk in person, and I for some reason am trying to sort things out:
How about we try something new....since we can't talk in person w/out arguing......
What about here. For example here is what I know about us...then you can respond w/ your own thoughts.... etc.
Who knows, maybe it will help!
First of all one of the things I have been doing alot of is reading about is setting boundaries in marriage....what things are acceptable and what are not. This can be individual, for each person, but agreed to. Basically I came up with 2 that are "deal breakers" for me.
Due to the past....drinking alcohol at all is a deal breaker. Alcohol is simply just a beverage - that should not be the center of a dispute in a marriage. If it is truly not a problem for you, then asking you not to drink should be something that is not a big deal to you. It upsets me a lot that I know you drank on Christmas eve...knowing this is one of hte largest issues for us.
And secondly, the degrading comments and namecalling are also a deal breaker. Withou even knowing, or at least pretending not to, you put me down all morning - about money for Xmas, the way you said good morning etc. Whether you did or did not know...this has become how you treat me. That and the name calling (mad or not) I can not do...it destroys me as a person. I will NEVER be called all those names you come up with again. It is wrong and hurtful.
That said, I am sure you have things that you would like to see change. Here is your opportunity to respond to my thoughts and share what changes you would like to see. I realize this is NOT the ideal way to express ourselves, but maybe we can make progress through here. We are on very different pages right now.....
I do love you.......we need to figure our how to work together and find peace together.......and I am willing to accept whatever that is.
AND...HERE IS HIS RESPONSE........
F*** YOU I AM DONE......PI$$ OFF. YOU ARE A USER AND A MANIPULATOR TO GET WHAT YOU WANT I HAVE NO TIME FOR YOU OR YOUR KIND IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!