Transform forgive me for pointing out the obvious, but what has really changed?
He's for all intents and purposes living with you and your kids as a family again under the veil of being 'seperated', no? Couldn't he have moved in with his Father until his apt. is ready? It's great that you are learning to detach, but I don't understand why you are still putting your children in a dysfunctional home life with a drunk for a Dad to help you to learn to detach. Sorry....