can't let go of negative feelings...
Merry christmas everyone!
I usually enjoy holidays/ birthdays/ special events, because unlike many other A's, my AH usually stays sober on these days (he knows I and his parents have issues with him drinking). This christmas again was very peaceful, we are staying at his parents house and AH hasn't had a drink since wednesday. He has been really nice the past 2 days, but somehow I can't seem to just enjoy the holidays. There are so many unresolved issues and I can't just store them away and feel fine (pretend everything's ok between us). I tried talking to him about our marriage this morning at breakfast (his parents were out and didn't get back until tonight) and he blocked it off right away, asking if we could please just enjoy the day and talk tomorrow (I don't think that will happen, because unless he is drunk he runs as soon as I try to talk to him about our problems).
Not sure what I'm asking here ... I guess I just want to know if this is "normal"? Iin the past I was always able to look past all the problems we had and just enjoy his present and kindness/ him being sober for the day. But this time, I just can't seem to let it go ... hugging him this morning after opening presents just got me all teared up (it didn't make me happy, just sad, because I was realizing that this is what I want EVERY DAY - and how much I miss him being sober and me being carefree)!