"What was the worst aspect of active addiction? For many of us, it wasn’t the chance that we might die some day of our disease. The worst part was the living death we experienced every day, the never-ending meaninglessness of life. We felt like walking ghosts, not living, loving parts of the world around us."
This is/was so true for me. I got deep into my addiction because I didnt want to have to feel anything. I didnt want to be sad and in pain. I didnt want to have to greive the the loss of a loved one. I didnt even care to be happy again. I was just like a zombie. I was just existing. Not living.