Daily actions
Bernadette posted the following paragraph in another thread and I just think it is such good advice:
"Just right here right now. You can only make decisions based on what he has shown you in the past and on his daily actions. So today was he working a program of recovery and not drinking and smoking drugs? Did he go to work today and did he make use of healthy outlets for his stress, like exercise or some hobby or hanging out with sober friends or other healthy habits that one day your child will grow up to learn and imitate?"
I struggle with making plans alone, because it feels so lonely and sad. I feel depressed when my addict refuses to join me in my sober and healthy activities. Then, the depression causes me to stall on carrying out those plans. Then, I change my mind and don't do them at all. This is where Bernadette's paragraph comes in. I need to keep asking myself those questions and force myself to see the reality: that I am hanging on to a guy who is not making an effort and it is foolish to base my life on a guy who is not trying. Thank you Bernadette!