OMG, you guys are good, thanks. i thought i was the only one missing my "THANKS" button. ok, patience is a virtue.
IMPURRFECT, I'm so sorry to hear about your ex. i'm sure you did your best to be there for him. yes i know that death is a possibility but what can we do other than pray and turn them over. your ex is at peace now and i'm sure he realized that you were doing what you needed to do to protect yourself. i pray that your hp will comfort you in your time of grief.
KITTY, no, by the grace of god, i don't worry about him anymore and it truly feels like a miracle. i believe you are right about him being a sick person, even without addiction. i honestly think there really is something missing. i actually ask his mom once if he had a mental problem as she knew of and she DID NOT like me asking her that at all, she got really angry and called me disrespectful. i never understood her reasons but then i don't have to. her opinions don't have anything to do with me as far as i'm concerned.
NOELLER, guess i my feelings may be a bit raw still and no i do not feel up to dealing with all that drama. like you said, he'll probably misunderstand anything i could write anyway.
i guess, maybe one day and i don't feel like i have to be in a hurry to do anything.